Have you ever sat in a classroom and thought I am in the wrong place? Not physically but you feel that you aren’t the person that should be in the room.
Received a job offer or some form of acceptance and thought they made a mistake?
Ever made a mistake and felt like maybe you weren’t good enough?
Well first things first, you aren’t alone. Unfortunately, many studies have found that minority students are most likely to experience imposter syndrome. In my personal experience as a black woman, it’s extremely tough to navigate but not impossible. Being in classrooms where you are one of, if not the only, person of color is intimidating. The culture of these university environments (with the exception of HBCUs) is rooted in colonized culture.
While we finally have access to the same levels of education, these systems aren’t structured to support us. So, use your multicultural centers, black student associations, and everything minority-focused to give yourself a space that looks like you and is dedicated to you.
While the responsibility is for the university administration to fix these structures to support you, I want to equip you with tools to use when these situations arise.
I don’t think I felt as much imposter syndrome until coming to grad school. For the first time, I entered into classes that I know nothing about. My mind would say things like:
“You aren’t smart enough to be here.”
“You don’t have the skills to apply to this.”
“It’ll be embarrassing if you mess up in front of everyone.”
It has gotten so bad that I’ve had panic attacks in class and have had to go to the bathroom to pull myself together. That’s what anxiety does to you, but I have learned how to reframe my thoughts in these situations. It doesn’t always work; I sometimes find myself crying in the bathroom or so in my head I can’t hear anyone talking to me.
One thing I saw on social media that has actually helped is a Success List or a “bada** list.” This is a list of all the times you struggled or thought you couldn’t do something and succeeded. I have things that to me seem small like “I learned how to navigate the bus system in Chapel Hill.”
That was not an easy task btw! The buses are hard to understand. Regardless, you get the point and when you’re having a rough day reading the list can be helpful.
Also, know these thoughts are temporary. At the moment they feel world ending, use deep breathing skills that you would use for other anxious moments. Tell yourself, “I am here for a reason, and I may not know it yet but I am.” It’s really important to talk to your mind and take control of your thoughts.
It’s not always easy and takes practice to get to that point. This semester I personally stopped thinking it was embarrassing to not know anything and set out to have a semester that taught me the most. Some days it’s easy to reframe your thoughts and other days it feels impossible. Know that the journey to beating imposter syndrome, perfectionism, or anything that makes you believe you are not enough will be like a roller coaster but in the end, you will succeed.