*spoilers inside*
So of course like every other big kid in the world, I was so excited and practically racing to see inside out 2. I’ll be honest, after being a continual watcher of the first inside out I was hesitant to see this one not alone. I tend to watch movies like this, Barbie, and other reflective films alone. It gives me space for my inner thoughts and feelings to escape. Hindsight is 20/20 because it was the perfect stage for transitions as my friends and I are on our way to explore our new journeys post-grad.
While I was initially disappointed that Riley wasn’t much older than the former film the complexity of her emotions was spot on for puberty as we change into womanhood. The process Riley went through within 1 hour and 36 minutes took me about 7 years from age 16-23. While there were many moments of hope and positivity the lesson wasn’t complete until about a year ago. So if you’re anything like me it’s okay if you took longer or still aren’t there.
Reason 1: Finding Yourself
The movie focused on finding one’s self… while Riley at 13 with her original emotions couldn’t recognize the way the choices she made defined her reality nor her internal and external perception as she encountered new environments she began to understand. The beauty of the movie’s focus on finding yourself, is we all do it. We find ourselves defined in one space yet chase the opportunity to redefine ourselves. We fail to realize just like Joy did with Riley we don’t have to become our old selves again. We are always carrying that version and are constantly evolving not exactly redefining. Every tough situation and complex emotion builds the tower of who we are good bad and ugly.
Reason 2: The Portrayal of Anxiety
The portrayal of anxiety teaches you to have compassion with yourself. Anxiety initially came to protect Riley. Her only goal was to save her from embarrassment and making mistakes. However, like in real life, she came strong, thinking she knew everything and suppressing every emotion she couldn’t control. And then after her suppression, each emotion began to think anxiety was right. If you’ve ever had a panic attack or any form of anxiety you can immediately relate. Anxiety started good, she was there as a way for Riley to recognize situations she was unfamiliar with. But she quickly became bad, the ruminating thoughts, lack of sleep, and intense pressure. However, at the end of her storm, she apologizes to Joy. It’s this intense moment where you realize anxiety wasn’t your enemy but an emotion that got too much control and couldn’t balance out. So to my anxiety and every girl that has had a panic attack or anxiety, give yourself grace. She came to protect you and in her effort, she lost her direction.
Reason 3: The Need to Be Perfect is Anxiety
If you played a sport or were a part of any extracurricular activity that required your dedication and advancement while you were young you’re almost taken back to the EXACT moment your emotions switched. I remember when I first started playing volleyball in 7th grade, I would cry during games because of frustration with myself and my abilities. I remember constantly apologizing to my coach who told me “You say sorry too much.” I remember competing and feeling just like Riley like I wasn’t enough. While that drive is what makes for great athletes, it can quickly go south wreaking havoc on your friendships, identity, and love for the sport. Unlike Riley, I never quite got my joy back for the sport I once loved so much while I still had the opportunity to play. I let the outside factors and internal anxiety affect my relationship. After taking a break from it I reestablished the relationship that had evolved but I’m not sure if the joy ever came back. I quickly noticed as I got older that was a pattern for my young and teenage girl self. I started dancing at age 3, so I was always a dancer. It was my identity. But…It was a perfectionist’s sport and oh my does it breed anxiety. After 13 years the pressure to perform eventually tainted my relationship with dance, and I shifted my focus to other activities like volleyball.
I frequently claim to be a recovering perfectionist because it’s all rooted in anxiety. We are not meant to be perfect, the sooner you can accept that the sooner you can release the pressure off of yourself. It’s easier said than done I know, give yourself just 5 minutes of no pressure to be perfect and slowly build up your tolerance for more.
“You say sorry too much”
– my 7th grade volleyball coach
Reason 4: Happiness is Found not Created
When I was deep in my anxiety and depression I searched for joy hard. I was chasing happiness but didn’t realize it was there all along.
I had this perception of what happiness and joy looked like but I didn’t take into account how much I had evolved from what used to make me happy. When Joy flips out on the other emotions and speaks about how she doesn’t have the answers but tries her hardest and then has a moment where she’s lost and doesn’t know what to do my heart clenched. I spent years LITERALLY trying to figure out why I couldn’t be happy. I didn’t know what I was missing. I didn’t know who I was or what I believed in because I had spent so much time trying to conform and morph into who I thought I was and wanted to be. One day, after a very dark period I decided I had enough and was going to do everything it took to find my happiness because it was within me all along. I just needed to reach out to it.
Reason 5: Navigating Transition Brings Out New Emotions
The stage of my life is the perfect backdrop to this movie. It’s funny while watching Barbie I was struggling with who I wanted to be as a woman. And with Inside Out 2, I’m in a transition phase. I’ve started my career and I’m finally done with school but as I move into this next phase I lose the familiarity of everything I knew before. Shout out to Grandma Nostalgia, that’s my girl. But what Riley taught me is all those experiences I’ve had in life have led me to this exact moment. To the place, I’m meant to be. And all I have to do is remember the core of who I am and that every emotion has gotten me to this place. Every experience has prepared me for whatever challenge I decide to take next. New emotions come along to protect and prepare you for the next step.
I dedicate this blog post to Raven and Makenna because they have been supporting and inspiring me to continue to write. And I cannot thank them enough for inviting me to see this movie together <3